here are the first 6 completed pages so far (the actual first page is still pending. It's supposed to be an establishing shot but I'm too lazy to draw it at the moment). I re-colored all of the pages since the last critique, and I also blacked in Vlad's suit and learned how to color lineart. I'm still trying to find a font that works with the drawings, so yeah, I know my handwriting is not up to par.
I like to bring the beverages to your comic.
ReplyDeletecasa bonita.
sweaters.
It might be an idea to just use your own handwriting instead of looking for a font, since it has the same flair as your art style and I feel it would help unify the text with the artwork.
ReplyDeleteemilee-
ReplyDeletei agree with cathy. i would just tighten it up a bit.
here are my notes:
pg.1-what is the establishing shot going to be? inside, outside, in the hallway (with words coming from a door)?
pg.2-add a bit of color to panels 3 and 4 ...or at least 4.
pg.3-maybe fill in "is" and "this" with blue to add more power.
pg.4-make "mute" on the tv blue. fill in "shut up" and add a bit more color to the bottom panels. they don't feel strong enough to support the ones above.
pg.5-good.
pg.6-i don't need the underline on "you" the italics does enough by itself.
pg.7-in panel 4 add color between rott and martinis heads so they don't become conjoined. vlad and bailey should though based on their positioning.
keep 'em coming!
-mark
Ok, I'll be more careful with the lettering next time then! It looked a lot neater before I inked it.
ReplyDeleteOk, I edited the things you mentioned. I'm going to post them as links instead of posting a whole new entry. You can just copy and paste the links in the URL field to see them.
Page one looks like this: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v201/DarkSilicon/ology%20pages/DSCN0513.jpg . I took the photo, and at the bottom I added some people and 'animal people' walking at the bottom. It's just sketched right now.
page 2: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v201/DarkSilicon/ology%20pages/02-1.png
page 3: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v201/DarkSilicon/ology%20pages/03-1.png
page 4: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v201/DarkSilicon/ology%20pages/04-1.png
page 5: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v201/DarkSilicon/ology%20pages/05-1.png (no changes)
page 6: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v201/DarkSilicon/ology%20pages/06-1.png
page 7: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v201/DarkSilicon/ology%20pages/07.png
hopefully that's better!